I've been traveling like a madman lately. I was on the road 5 out of the last 6 weeks. And I think it threw me off a little bit. Looking back at the past two months. Other than work and work-out, I really didn't do much at all. I think it's time to remind myself of my new year resolutions and get back on track before it is too late. I am too good at finding excuses for myself, whatever I do always has a BECAUSE in it. I drank almost everyday when I was traveling BECAUSE I was too stressful; I didn't implement my small meal diet BECAUSE I was eating out all the time; I didn't QT in the morning BECAUSE of the jet lag; I didn't send out any resume BECAUSE it's the NBA playoff...goes on and on. I feel like I am going nowhere...
Something happen lately at work. I really think it's a wake up call from God. I think our firm is going down. I knew we were not doing too well for awhile now, but I never have the sense of urgency until these couple of days. Last week, one of our partners left the firm. This week, I heard there will be a lawsuit between the partners. Well...actually I should have seen the red flags earlier. My boss used to work long hours but now rarely work past 3pm. The other partner is always "work from home" now. There was no direct deposit for the last three payroll period. I should have seen this coming, But I know this is bad when I learn that we are not renewing our CalCPA VP program. That is a continuing professional education (CPE) program, and it's a requirement for all CPA firm who is practicing attestation services. I cannot say for sure that the firm is closing out anytime soon, but it definitely does not look very promising now...
I was really stressful this afternoon. I have deadline to meet by this week. At the same time I have to prepare for my trip for next week. And on top of all that knowing I could be unemployed at any moment just make me very moody this afternoon. So what did I do? I work out like crazy after work. It's my way of "to get out". It works...for a moment, I can really turn my mind off for awhile. I guess my brain was too busy dealing with the pain that it forget how to think or something. Too bad I can't just work-out all day long. And after the shower when the pain is gone, the stress come back. I suddenly remember what I've read repeatedly from QT almost everyday. I should submit myself to God, and let God share my burden, instead of just doing it myself. That is definitely easily said than done. I found out today even though I always said things like 'to let God be my shepherd and lead my way' in my prayers. But when things start going out of the ordinance, the first thing I found myself doing today was...updating my resume, talking to friends, browsing for jobs...etc. Instead, the first thing I should be doing was, to pray. Um...not good Edmond not good!
But well...at least now I realize that, I actually feel calmer. Looking back my 30 years, I had my ups and downs but God still always somehow would find ways to get me back on track. There would be no exception this time. I know all I need to do is to pray and to do what God had taught me to do, and I know HE will take care of the rest. Amen.
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