Sad

Looking back in the past few years, things were going my way. I got a job, I had a girlfriend, I accepted Christ as my savior, I earned my CPA license, I got rid of a few bad habits, I finished my first ever marathon, I went to Europe for the first time, the list goes on and on. I was very blessed and I am really thankful for that.

Today, however was definitely not one of those days. In fact, I haven't been this sadden for a very long time. We broke up today. It was nobody's fault; for the matter of fact, if I really have to point the finger, it would've been my fault. I am sad not because of the result...well...I should say not totally because of the result. I truly believe our decision is best for the both of us. I am sad because it is nobody's fault and I am hurting someone who I care for. Knowing my personality, I know it would've been much easier for me if there was a dramatic cause or something. Instead now, I am struggled as to what to do. Things like...should I still call her once in awhile? Will she feel sorrow hearing my voice or may even think I am shedding crocodile tears? On the other hand, if I disappear just like that. I don't want she to think after sharing her love with someone for so long, and that person becomes completely indifferent just like that. I know I wouldn't want that happening to me, and more importantly, that is not the case.

Earlier today, a friend of mine told me this; why does it even matter? unless you guys still want to get back together, what is the point of showing that you still care for your ex? Well...as much as I want to argue with him, I was tongue-tied on my retort. It crossed my mind that, maybe that's what she is thinking too; that you are either in my life or just leave me alone. ~Sigh~ don't make things any worse Edmond, you've done enough damage already, maybe you should just shut up and fuck off...

The Inevitable

Ever since that moment, I was feeling betwixt and between about my decision. But today, my doubts are finally gone. I came to realize it's not how much goods or bads a person has, nor how well that person is treating you that's the most important. People change, the goods you see today maybe the deal breaker tomorrow, and someone who treat you like king today can be careless about you tomorrow. So what is the most important? the answer may sound lame but I think it's Love. Forget about looks, careers, cars...all those craps. Stop being rational for a moment and just answer honestly: how much do you really love that person; and how much do you think that person really loves you. The answer can be cruel, but I think that's what only matter at the end of the day. Back to me, I think today I finally know the answer to those questions and they are 1) not enough, and 2) not much.

I indubitably can feel the disconnection lately. And when two people are just inches apart but have no communication at all, almost like trying to disguise their inner feelings. That indeed is sad, and I feel bitter for that. I realize some things really can't be repaired, trust for example, my heart is sinking right now, I can't find a word to describe...I am such a lousy boyfriend...I hate me...

But it is what it is, I truly believe God loves us all and has plan for all of us, I know we will be fine...I wish you the best...

MADNESS

Just when I thought summer is almost over, it strikes back stronger than ever. It was so freaking hot I felt like I was about to die after a 30 min. run today. My car even indicated 106 F on my way home. YES! IT'S 106 F! THIS IS MADNESS!!!

Diablo III

Want vs. Need

I spoke with my colleague today who recently replace his xbox360 with according to him a super gaming PC. He told me the graphic quality of his new PC running NBA 2K9 and Street Fighter 4 is even much better than xbox360. That is hard for me to imagine, having seen how great xbox360 was at Best Buy. Although I was never really into gaming, well, I think I'll still enjoy playing Street Fighters or NBA once in awhile. Not to mention I'm expecting Diablo 3, which is probably the only game I've ever anticipated, to launch in a year or so.
But with all that being said, a part of me is telling I should not waste 700, 800 bucks just for games. That I should save up for something more meaningful, I don't know, maybe like a house or something.

Want vs. Need. This is never going to be easy!

Where to go on Labor Day weekend?

With about one week left before Labor Day weekend, I am challenged as to where to go. This long weekend is special because it is the last one before Joy go back to China. We definitely are not going to waste it at home doing nothing. So now the question is, where to go? Considering I have only three days off; both of us are a bit tight on budget; and Joy is going to Vegas with her friends tomorrow. With those factors, it makes my decision even harder than usual. I want to go to Hawaii, but it is too expensive. Joy loves to visit Yellowstone, but three days are not enough. So where else can we go??? I need help >.<

My date this weekend

Well...since Joy is going to Las Vegas tomorrow, these are going to be my date for the weekend. ^^

The Nike+ Human Race

10/24/2009 will be the day I put my legs to the test. I can still clearly recall how I felt last year being not able to finish the entire race and ending up with an embarrassing time of 1 hr 15 min. Well...this is definitely going to change this year. In fact, I am hoping to finish in 50 minutes this time. With exactly 2 months remaining now, this will be my primary focus for the coming weeks.

Magic Mountain

A really fun day at the six flags magic mountain with the guys today. I think it has been almost 10 years since my last visit. There are two noticeable changes: 1) Way lesser people; We've ridden a total of 10 different rides, and some of those rides we barely even need to wait. That was awesome! 2) Soreness, dizziness, agitation...just some of the side effects we all experienced today. As much as I hate to admit it, but I think we maaaaay be getting old. I am laying on my bed feeling pretty beat up right now as I am writing this post...SSSAAADDD...I better go get some rest now...99

Inglourious Basterds

I've been longing to watch this movie for months. And I think Quentin Tarantino once again has lived up to his reputation. The best movie I've watched in 2009 yet. I think Everyone should go watch it, especially for guys.

Oh and I bought a bottle of water from AMC today. Don't ask me why, I guess I was really really thirsty at the time. And before I could realize what I had gotten myself into, I was paying 4 bucks for a bottle of water. Yes! they charge 4 U.S. dollars for a fucking 16oz bottle of water at AMC! A total ripoff! and I thought Apple was overpriced. But of course I can't blame no one but me, so afterward I made self-promise that I will never buy anything from AMC other than tickets again...those Inglourious Basterds!

FINALLY!!!

I don't even remember how many times I've mentioned about having my own blog already, anyways, I finally got one now ^^
Here, I intend to share things that are interesting and exciting around me, so stay tuned!



Inglourious Basterds, can't wait to watch it tonight =)