I went to a choir sister's mom 安息禮拜 this morning. That was probably the first funeral I've attended since I became adult. Having no previous interaction with her mom, frankly I did not feel sad or anything. However, the eulogy speech given by one of her granddaughter really got me thinking. She mentioned something like she has no regret because she knew how much her grandma loved her and her grandma also knew how much she loved her. Furthermore, she knew her grandma is in a much better place now and soon they will all see each other again in heaven.
I start asking myself, if something happen to me tomorrow or to any of my loved one. Do they know how much I loved them? And more importantly, are we going to see each other ever again? I remember when I was still very young, probably like 5 years old or so. Out of the blue one day I just questioned what would it be like if I'm dead. Would I just...like...black out, feel nothing, remember nothing, as if I had never existed? I felt very sorrow at that time I remember I cried out and went to my mom for answer. I asked her what would happen next after I'm die, or if she is die, are we still going to see each other ever again?...etc. It is actually pretty funny thinking back, I guess my mom must had been very confused at that time, she must thought what the heck is wrong with this kid, suddenly start asking all those weird questions... Anyway, I remember what my mom told me. She told me not to worry because even after we are dead, we would still one day reunite in heaven. I was really happy and felt relieved after hearing that. I didn't realized I'd just learned the most valuable knowledge ever at that time. But throughout the years...so called life experiences...I've forgotten that valuable 'knowledge'. But thanks to God, eventually he guided me back and remind me once again of this wonderful 'knowledge'; that there IS eternal life and through Jesus, we could all enjoy it.
I am thankful that a lot of people whom I love and care for are already believers including my parents. I know for sure that we'll see each other again no matter what happen tomorrow. But on the other hand, there are still a lot of friends and family whom I really love and care for, including my brother, who still have not understand this 'knowledge' yet. And I am guilty for never really try to share with them. A main reason why I never did that was, you know...I like to act 'cool'. I know how others think of people who "講耶穌", I mean...I used to hate it when someone start "講耶穌" to me. Also, I always give myself excuses like 'oh..when the time come, they will believe, God will do His work.' or 'who am I to "講耶穌" or try to convince them? What creditability do I have? I am not a priest or anything, as a matter of fact, I am only a rookie believer whom haven't even read the entire Bible for once; I am not qualify...etc'. But I kind of think differently now. You don't have to be a doctor to tell someone to quit smoking or eat healthier right? and although my interpretation or explanation could be wrong, I know my intention is right. I love them therefore I want to tell them what is the most important, that there is eternal life and such. Life is too fragile, and no one knows what will happen tomorrow. There is really no point to wait; if I really care for someone, then I should put it into action. So if there is one day (hopefully never) that I have to give an eulogy speech to someone I love; I could say I have no regret, that he/she knew how much I love them, and soon we will see each other again in a much better place...forever...
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